Birthday Breakdown

It was February 16. I felt sick to my stomach knowing the next day I would be turning 26. Yep I hit that mark, I'm no spring chicken.  For the first time in my life I really began to question if I was doing everything in my life to the fullest. I felt uneasy and bizarre, in a fog of questions, and no answers. I had such an uneasy, lost feeling, I couldn't rid. So what did I do? POPPED THE CHAMPAGNE!!!! Like any responsible 26 year old "woman" would do right?  Celebrate? That's When I had one of the most dramatic, hysterical nervous breakdowns of all time. Crying, Screaming, Flailing MY SELF ON THE FLOOR MELT DOWN!! I've always been a dramatic person, I'm sure if my life went as planned I would be having melt downs on the Silver Screen, instead of my living room. In a Ball gown, not a night gown. But that's not the case and there was definitely nothing glamorous about that night. In fact I ended my birthday night sleeping on a piss stained floor of the local county jail. No streamers here, my birthday suite was a blue jumpsuit and hand cuffs. HANDCUFFS!! At the time I thought I don't deserve this it's my birthday, I'm a house wife. Aren't there Serious criminals to catch? Other than a hysterical house wife gone KOO-KOO? Now that I am Home, and 26. I realize that I did Deserve to be there. I let My feelings and anxiety take over my actions, I was Hysterical,  I was like a wild buck in a cage. Am I a bad person? No. I just had a reaaaaalllllllly reaaallllly bad night. I really do feel like crawling into my closet and never coming out. I want to give up and just hide, but I'm not.  I have made up my mind today. I will get over this. I will be healthy, and happy. So everyday from now until,  I can honestly say "YES I Feel Good".  I will do at least one DIY project, art project, poetry, painting, sculpture, or weird exercise routine to get my endorphins flowin. Who knows, the possibilities are endless, hell I might build a house…well probably not. But I might try. All My projects won't succeed but I will. I'm gonna keep going until I don't need anyone to tell me they are proud, because I will be  proud of myself. I will Over come my depression and anxiety one day at a time.